T H E   E A S Y   W A Y

If drinking interferes with business, here's a simple plan;
Give up business – end the worry, drink and be a man!
If play and work won't go together, separate the two;
Give up work, and let them have it – play's the thing for you!

If love with marriage means a contract, ties you down a bit;
Give up marriage – stick with love, and, let the marriage slip!
If study takes a lot of time – away from liberty;
Give up study – never hurry, have a darn good spree!

If duty and your freedom, somehow won't walk hand in hand;
Give up duty – place your banner – high upon a stand!
If truth and lies won't blend at all, as you want them to do,
Give up truth – depend on lies, and add an extra few!

If good and evil make a fuss, and cause your brow to frown;
Give up being good – be bad – let evil pull you down!
If honesty and cheating squirm, and won't agree to ride;
Give up honesty at once – and show the other side!

Do all the harm you can my friend, beware of doing good!
And never have a pleasant thought, you might be understood!
Steal from your neighbours – be a crook, in fact, do all you can!
But never be as other folk, or try to be a Man!